Can Ye Feel So Now?

Can Ye Feel So Now? - Quentin L. Cook

"While anything that lessens commitment is of consequence, two relevant challenges are both prevalent and significant. The first is unkindness, violence, and domestic abuse. The second is sexual immorality and impure thoughts. These often precede and are at the root of the choice to be less committed.
How we treat those closest to us is of fundamental importance. Violence, abuse, lack of civility, and disrespect in the home are not acceptable—not acceptable for adults and not acceptable for the rising generation. My father was not active in the Church but was a remarkably good example, especially in his treatment of my mother. He used to say, “God will hold men responsible for every tear they cause their wives to shed.” This same concept is emphasized in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.” It reads, “[Those] who abuse spouse or offspring … will one day stand accountable before God.” Regardless of the culture in which we are raised, and whether our parents did or did not abuse us, we must not physically, emotionally, or verbally abuse anyone else.
The need for civility in society has never been more important. The foundation of kindness and civility begins in our homes. It is not surprising that our public discourse has declined in equal measure with the breakdown of the family. The family is the foundation for love and for maintaining spirituality. The family promotes an atmosphere where religious observance can flourish. There is indeed “beauty all around when there’s love at home.”"

I was impressed that Elder Cook considers unkindness to be similar in importance to violence and abuse. I do feel that kindness and civility are forgotten virtues in the world these days, and also are sometimes lacking in our home. This is something that I have been hoping to improve in our family.

I recently found a book on parenting that I really like called Positive Discipline. It suggests that once a week at a family meeting, each person in the family give every other person a sincere compliment. We have tried that for a couple of weeks and the kids seem to really enjoy it. I hope this small habit can help kindness become easier for all of us.

Alma 17:11-12

"And the Lord said unto them also: Go forth among the Lamanites, thy brethren, and establish my word; yet ye shall be patient in long-suffering and afflictions, that ye may show forth good examples unto them in me, and I will make an instrument of thee in my hands unto the salvation of many souls.
And it came to pass that the hearts of the sons of Mosiah, and also those who were with them, took courage to go forth unto the Lamanites to declare unto them the word of God." - Alma 17:11-12

I imagine the Lord might have said something similar to each of us before we came to earth. There are many trials and obstacles for each of us to overcome, but the blessings we receive will make it all worth it.

I feel like there were two ways that the sons of Mosiah could have responded to this message. They could have focused on the afflictions that they would face and become discouraged, or even given up. Instead, they took courage in the fact that they would be able to serve others and save souls.

Every day, this is a decision that I have to make. As a parent, I have plenty of opportunities to practice patience and long-suffering. I hope that I can be a good example to my children so that they will be able to learn the gospel and we can be a forever family.

And a Little Child Shall Lead Them

And a Little Child Shall Lead Them - Boyd K. Packer

"One of the great discoveries of parenthood is that we learn far more about what really matters from our children than we ever did from our parents. We come to recognize the truth in Isaiah’s prophecy that “a little child shall lead them.” ”

I have definitely found this to be true. I learned a lot from my parents, but my children are helping me to learn, grow, and develop so much more. I have been stretched to my limits and forced to figure out what is really important in life. Having kids forces me to be active and not just sit back and passively observe. Although I don't really enjoy being a leader, I am responsible for my children and I have to do my best to guide them and be an example for them. Having that responsibility has really helped me to push myself, even if I feel like I'm barely keeping up with them.

"Our parents served faithfully in their most important calling—as parents. Our father led our home in righteousness, never with anger or fear. And the powerful example of our father was magnified by the tender counsel of our mother. The gospel is a powerful influence in the life of every one of us in the Packer family and to the next generation and the next generation and the next, as far as we have seen."

I also enjoyed Pres. Packer's thoughts on the importance of the family. He mentions that his parents did not have prominent callings in the church and his father might even be considered less active. But his parents lived the gospel at home. What happens at home is more important than what happens at church or anywhere else.

To Hold Sacred

To Hold Sacred - Elder Paul B. Pieper

I was reading this talk recently and was struck by this section:

"The battle for priority between the sacred and the secular in each human heart can be illustrated by Moses’s experience at the burning bush. There Moses received his sacred calling from Jehovah to deliver the children of Israel from bondage. However, initially his worldly knowledge of the power of Egypt and the pharaoh caused him to doubt. Ultimately, Moses exercised faith in the Lord’s word, subjugating his secular knowledge and trusting in the sacred. That trust provided him power to overcome temporal trials and lead Israel out of Egypt."

We have two children and are pondering having another one. From my knowledge of what having two children is like, it seems like it would be crazy to have another one. I have had many doubts as to whether we would be able to handle it. But if the Lord's perspective is different, then it is a situation where we must exercise our faith and trust in the Lord.

Talk on Motherhood

We have two children, a boy and a girl. We’ve been amazed at the differences between them and what they are interested in. They both have very different things that come naturally to them. From a very young age, our daughter loves to take care of stuffed animals, baby dolls, etc. She will feed them, dress them, put them to bed, and protect them from her brother. This mothering instinct is part of her divine nature.

Sheri Dew said “Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us." I know that mothering is part of every woman’s divine nature. I have seen this as I have experienced many wonderful women in my life mothering me along with my own mother, including primary teachers, young women leaders, neighbors, friends, visiting teachers, and relief society leaders.

Sheri Dew also taught  “Every one of us can mother someone—beginning, of course, with the children in our own families but extending far beyond. ...Few of us will reach our potential without the nurturing of both the mother who bore us and the mothers who bear with us.” We each have many women that will “mother” us throughout our lives and likewise, we can also “mother” many around us.

This week I enjoyed studying the scriptures to learn about many different examples of motherhood.

One important attribute of motherhood is teaching, specifically teaching the gospel. The first example that comes to mind is the mothers of the stripling warriors.“Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them. And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it.” Alma 56: 47-48

These mothers were exemplifying this scripture in  2 Nephi 25:26: “And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.”

Another example of teaching the gospel was Eunice, the mother of Timothy. Timothy was a disciple of Christ and served as a companion to Paul on one of his missionary journeys. Eunice and Lois (Timothy’s grandmother) were the first in their family to believe in the gospel of Christ. Timothy’s mother was Jewish, but his father was a Greek. This means Eunice was raising her son in the gospel on her own. In 2 Timothy, we read that Eunice taught Timothy the scriptures beginning when he was a child. In those days, women did not usually know how to read, so it is likely that Eunice taught him the scriptures that she had memorized by listening to reading in the synagogue or from men reciting scriptures. This must have taken a lot of personal effort on Eunice’s part. It is so important that we continually search, ponder and pray, so that we can teach our children.

Boyd K. Packer said “Keep the fire of your testimony of the restored gospel and your witness of our Redeemer burning so brightly that our children can warm their hands by the fire of your faith."

Another important attribute of mothering is taking care of physical needs. In Acts, we read about Dorcas.“Now there was at Joppa a certain disciple named Tabitha, which by interpretation is called Dorcas: this woman was full of good works and almsdeeds which she did. And it came to pass in those days, that she was sick, and died: whom when they had washed, they laid her in an upper chamber. And forasmuch as Lydda was nigh to Joppa, and the disciples had heard that Peter was there, they sent unto him two men, desiring him that he would not delay to come to them. Then Peter arose and went with them. When he was come, they brought him into the upper chamber: and all the widows stood by him weeping, and shewing the coats and garments which Dorcas made, while she was with them. But Peter put them all forth, and kneeled down, and prayed; and turning him to the body said, Tabitha, arise. And she opened her eyes: and when she saw Peter, she sat up. And he gave her his hand, and lifted her up, and when he had called the saints and widows, presented her alive..” Acts 9:36&39 Now I don’t think the widows were sad because they needed some new clothes. Dorcas made the clothes for others to show her love for them. Taking care of physical needs is an important way of showing love.

The next attribute I’d like to talk about is filling the need for comfort and companionship.Naomi’s husband took them to Moab but then he died, so she lived with her two sons, who married women from Moab. They lived there for 10 years. Then her sons died as well, and she tried to send her daughter-in-laws back to their mothers’ homes, but Ruth did not want to leave her mother-in-law. “Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God:  Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.” Ruth 1:16-17 Naomi had lost her husband and her two sons and was left alone in the world, so Ruth was willing to leave the land of her birth and her family to stay with her. What a great example of friendship.We have all covenanted to “bear one another’s burdens that they may be light;  Yea, and [to be] willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort” Mosiah 18:8-9

From the story of Esther, we learn that each of us can be in a position to help those around us. Esther is selected to be the queen and so she is in the right place at the right time to intervene with the king on behalf of the Jewish people. Her uncle, Mordecai, asks “who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” Esther 4:14

Spencer W. Kimball taught “God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other in the kingdom. The people of the Church need each other’s strength, support, and leadership in a community of believers as an enclave of disciples. In the Doctrine and Covenants we read about how important it is to “… succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees.” (D&C 81:5.) So often, our acts of service consist of simple encouragement or of giving mundane help with mundane tasks, but what glorious consequences can flow from mundane acts and from small but deliberate deeds!”

I know that I have benefitted from others’ following promptings of the Spirit to do something very small to them, but so incredibly helpful for me. We need to keep the Spirit with us and watch for these opportunities to serve.

Mothering means doing very difficult, seemingly impossible things. I am so amazed when I think about Mary, the mother of Jesus. It is very overwhelming to me that Heavenly Father has entrusted me with two of his children but it must have been even more so for Mary to be the mother of the Son of God. We know that she was humble enough to submit to the will of the Lord and accept this responsibility.

Each of us has challenges that we can’t overcome on our own. How can we accomplish these things? God will give us the help that we need. Hagar, the mother of Ishmael was cast out into the wilderness with her child and ran out of water. “And the water was spent in the bottle, and she cast the child under one of the shrubs. And she went, and sat her down over against him a good way off, as it were a bowshot: for she said, Let me not see the death of the child. And she sat over against him, and lift up her voice, and wept. And God heard the voice of the lad; and the angel of God called to Hagar out of heaven, and said unto her, What aileth thee, Hagar? fear not; for God hath heard the voice of the lad where he is. And God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water; and she went, and filled the bottle with water, and gave the lad drink.” Genesis 21: 16-17, 19

I love self-help books. Books on parenting, marriage, how to get your house to clean itself...I need all the help I can get! However, I have discovered that they don’t work on their own. I've found that if I really want to change something, then I have to counsel with the Lord and rely on his grace to help me to change. None of us are perfect, and we are not going to become perfect in this life. I don’t think Heavenly Father cares how close to perfect we are, he just cares that we are trying. I know that if we will stay close to the Lord, we can become better mothers and better people.